Despair is a funny thing, it seems to surface during the most inconvenient moments and recently I’ve discovered it encroaching in my own life. Setting poetry aside; the dictionary simply defines despair as a loss of hope.

DESPAIR 

noun – the complete loss or absence of hope. “a voice full of self-hatred and despair

 

My ability to see the future wavers to and fro. I don’t wish to be so proud as to insert myself to lofty heights in my imagination, yet I refuse to see myself as worthless and pitiful. I described this tension to my wife, Leigh, who also wrestles with the same issue. I think most of us do.

A resolution arrived while I was listening to a song recently; “I wish I could see me just the way [God] see[s] me.” It was a light bulb moment. I don’t have to imagine a beige future when I see myself through Gods eyes. I have permission to think I’m awesome, because in His opinion, I am awesome.

Likewise in His eyes You are awesome.

Imagine a future that includes His plans for you. Now think mucho más grandioso. Gods intent is a great deal more flavoursome than we often imagine. Yet imagine we must. We often struggle to believe it let alone see it in our future.

faith and despair

eyes to see

This point is best delivered in the story of Tara Holland who won Miss America in 1997. After her victory Tara was asked in an interview if she was nervous while walking down the runway. “No” was her response as she continued to explained that she’d walked down the runway many of times before; Tara had rented dozens of Miss America DVD’s and as she watched the winners she had visualised herself in their place.

Tara’s key was to see through the eyes of faith. What we see, we create faith for. Elisha received a double potion because he had the faith to believe it could happen. Joseph rose to power only after he had dreamt of his future destiny. David became King over Israel after Samuel spoke it into him years earlier. Often faith is the necessary ingredient to our potential.

And faith starts with hope. Hope is the abolition of despair. It is to believe God’s love is strong enough to pour out enough blessing on us, his children, that we might fulfil the good works in Christ we were created for.

As my dad said to me “some Christians think that God intends us to live a grumpy existence.” This is both the result of, and path toward despair.

I have too little time to remain in despair as I now see my faith is crucial to His dream for me. Being entirely honest I don’t live in a state of faith as much as I’d wish, usually because I doubt vs. dream, yet I get more mileage out of hopeful dreams than despairing doubts.

It’s for this reason I have chosen to practice being grateful, fully expectant that my vision is clear and coming.

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